Climbing went well tonight. Just enough that my arms and legs were tired and my feet started cramping. As usual I was hungry afterward and dreaded eating. It’s not the actual eating part. It’s the making and cleaning part. Well. Maybe just the cleaning part. So I decided to head to Panda Express as a treat and to watch a movie when I got home. I reached the store about 5-10 minutes before they were supposed to close. To my shock the food was already taken up and they weren’t serving anymore. At first I was upset because now I have to actually make something unless I was going to go for some other fast food that I would like to avoid. But in retrospect it was a good thing. I didn’t really need it even though it can taste very yummy. Mmmm orange chicken. I was told I make a good stir fry and I had actually bought the vegetables earlier already so I might as well use them for dinner. Overall I guess it was a win. I made something healthier and didn’t spend money on something I really didn’t need even though I wanted it. Perhaps it’s time I kick into higher gear the cleaning of my house and start cooking for people again. I miss the experimenting on recipes to see how it will turn out as a different flavor combination. As long as the food comes out ok, I think people will be happy to try what my hands churn out of some indian foods I’ve been wanting to work on. Well, ’tis the season to be jolly. I’ll try and keep that in mind next time I’m tired and don’t want to cook.

-Santa’s Fallen Angel

This is dedicated to each and every one of us that has those days where you interact with someone or some people that test your level of patience and where Mother Teresa might have even give you a one-time free pass to lose it.

Recently I had one of those days where many people seemed to know just what buttons to push and then keep at it. Over and over and over again. Almost no time in between to get a chance to count to 10, or 100. No time to sit in a corner and take deep calming breaths to clear yourself. The constant barrage seemingly with the pinpoint precision of a laser guided weapon. You are on the precipice when you almost raise your voice. When you almost just start yelling or crying just for the silence that will occur after the outburst.

And then you remember that you’ve been through this before. It will (probably) pass before you can’t take it anymore. You finally find that sliver in time where you can close your eyes and breathe. You can feel you head pounding less. Your heartbeat once loud in your ears starting to slow down. The rush of adrenaline calming its forces and the slow slow ebb of tension as you relax back into the now.

Even after, some of it might linger. A few moments. Days. Weeks. An ember waiting for the right fuel to send you back into a near out of control inferno of passion.

For anyone in this place I leave to you this mental gift that you may claim whenever you need it. For you I scream the internal cry by yelling “Ahhhh!!!!!!…” for when you can’t and for when you need it most.

-Santa’s Fallen Angel

p.s. Namaste