I wonder if i’ve ever learned any lessons now that i’ve had time to reflect from my last post.

I write into two journals. One is a personal Moleskine that only i read. The other is a hybrid. While it is mainly for my blog entries, at times i do write things just for myself. Actually maybe three journals if i consider that i also enter directly into the blog and it’s not written down on paper. 

In my last blog entry about remembering when, i happened to open my personal thought journal, something i haven’t done enough of and went back through a short walk into recent past. My personal writings show me that i should never have trusted the nurse exfriend in denver that decided after the mexico trip she wouldn’t pay her half because she felt others make more than she and she has things to buy, one a not cheap herb, federally illegal at least. My personal musings warned me from my subconscious that at various times i was disturbed by things she said that were untrustworthy, her lack of personal responsibility, her apparent problems with financial management claiming hardship to others and then spending money. 

Reading these ideas interspersed among others over several pages i was in a state of shock that these words didn’t seem to penetrate my conscious thinking even as i was putting words to paper that i was concerned about our friendship. an expensive lesson in the duplicity of others and the intuitions about things we pick up on.

I was also reminded about a military venture where using an eeg or something similar attached to someone they flash tactical pictures on a screen and the person’s subconscious brain might pick up on a missle or weapon or something amiss before the conscious side would have. Those pictures mentally flagged can then get reviewed. That’s pretty nifty to me.

In other parts of the journal i reflected on my recent 20th reunion, previous things i listed i want to do/learn, and unfortunately that i wrote that i need to read and reflect more.

I need to write more in my personal journal and more importantly i need to take the time to read and reflect on those writings. What other gems can i uncover from my subconscious? The subconscious rocks!

-Santa’s Fallen Angel