I had a lot of hopes for 2020. I need to lower my expectations.

I’m starting with negatives while I try and think up positives.

I’ve had several dates take up the gauntlet that ghosting is horrible and they’ve elevated things. Three times so far in 2020, I’ve been stood up. Yes. I’m talking the old fashioned make a plan with someone and then never show up. But they added the new modern twist of ghosting right after. Congratulations. You’ve taken it to the next level.

I’ve also noticed, for several years now at least, that more and more women (could be guys but I don’t chat with them), are becoming deficient in communication skills. Some of this is per person. Actually, a lot of this is probably per person, but the lack of face-to-face or even talking over the phone I think is causing people to forget how to communicate. I’m not sure if there is extra perceived safety staying behind the walled garden of an app or messaging or emails without having to look at someone or hear their voice. You can still stand up and leave or hang up the phone. It just takes more effort. Before digital, the person could keep calling. Now you can just block them. If you had enough concerns about sharing your phone number after having a date, you probably shouldn’t see them again.

Other than apps offering a way for verbal communication without sharing information, I don’t see a positive outcome from this. Perhaps I’m just picking all the wrong ones. I can ask someone to be more communicative and to let me know there’s an issue early enough that we can talk about it, I mean write each about it since there’s little verbal communication. But recent years experiences have born that it’s usually after the fact. An issue is felt. A one sided conclusion is made without trying to communicate. A decision is then made without trying to find out more. And this is communicated in a text message stating all this without any option to actually write or talk it out.

I see why the term snowflake gets used frequently. It’s a nice idea to have a safe space and a safe place. But if you’re trying to interact with people, that means you actually have to interact. Retreating before you even see a real conflict isn’t playing it safe. Perhaps they have poor self-confidence.

Oh well. I’m skipping anything positive for now. I’ve vented and rambled enough. A doors closes, a door opens. I like to tell myself that these women have selected themselves out of my life by their own choices, It makes it easier to try and deal with them and not feel as much pity for them and for the future.

I’m told there is someone out there, but can she communicate and let me know?

-SFA