Working two jobs and spending the rest of the time on hobbies other than writing sure makes the time pass by. I recorded this as a test piece and it was good enough of a first effort I wanted to share it with others. Enjoy. There’s a link for a better quality one.
Test video of A Passage of Time
I’ve gone through my share of kindles at this point. Some damage was my fault. I would carry them around everywhere. Early to an appointment, pull it out and read. Someone else running late, pull it out and read. On the train, on the plane, but I didn’t eat it with green eggs nor ham.
Twice, the damage wasn’t my fault. The last time I was trying to be discrete and placed my relatively new 2nd gen paperwhite under a towel poolside. It seems someone mistook my chair for theirs and yes, sat on my kindle. They must have noticed something and they took off. This I was told by others sitting near me. The person didn’t come clean.
Today I received the new 300 dpi paperwhite as I’ve grown tired reading on my ipad mini, primarily because of outdoor reading. I was hoping to leave a review on amazon’s site, but it seems no one can right now. Perhaps because they want to sell them without people saying anything negative. Oops. Guess that was a spoiler.
It’s small. It’s pretty. The back light is nice. I guess the letters are nice and sharp but I’ve always thought they were sharp to begin with. I do miss physical buttons to turn the pages with. The three big problems I have with this one are 1. I already had to do a hard reset to get the swiping to work, 2. The menus seem slow. I think this is the slowest kindle I’ve had so far or maybe because it is more complex. I don’t know. And 3. Quality control. It seems like there is dirt/dust/something under the top layer that reflects the light in a few places. Kinda looks like a pixel on the monitor that’s bright white. Small but intermittently annoying and over time I imagine it will be one of those things you notice more and more.
My first reaction was to be upset that after trying for months to read on my ipad I finally decide to drop a large sum on the paperwhite and it has all these flaws.
It’s not even a day old in my hands right now. I’m going to give it time tonight actually reading instead of downloading all my books again (just once I’d love to see a ‘download all’ option, that also applies to you zinio). I’ve also taken it out for the first time from the plastic sleeve it came in so I can charge it up. All that downloading on wifi chewed up the battery. For reference, while I have not bought digital versions of the majority of my paperbacks, the digital books I have show 86 pages in the cloud and 92 on the device. I also wish I knew of a faster way to scroll through the books. As someone that rereads books, shocking for many people I’ve learned, I don’t delete them when I’m done reading. And searching doesn’t work so well since I don’t always remember the name of the book nor the author since I can be working through 2-4 books at one time. I tried the one book at a time thing but it didn’t last very long. Keyword searching can work if it is are unique.
I hope to wake up refreshed and loving it just so I don’t have to return it and order a new one. Then I’ll have to download the books again, something that will start off with a negative mindset.
-SFA
As this day creeps to a finish, I’ve found myself over the last couple hours thinking.
Today is father’s day. Most celebrated days just pass me by usually. I can’t say what stopped me today. Maybe it was the person at work recently asking me about my plans today with my children.
I do know that I’m glad I did take some time to think.
I started to reflect on my life, as long or short as it has been, time being relative to who is looking at me.
When I see someone with full on white hair and hunched over I feel young and my life is ahead of me. Then I see their grandchild and feel old, slow and fat.
I guess I am in a potential prime of my life. I have a steady job. I put money into savings. I travel. I can still get into better shape. Friends. Family. Check, check, check, check.
But who am I in this time and place? Of course this is purely subjective.
I was pondering the ‘deep’ question wondering if I measure up. To myself, to others, to my parents, and specifically today to my father. Do I meet whatever standard he holds inside himself, not only of me but of himself? This is an unusual question for me since I usually don’t care about measuring myself against others.
Am I disgrace? Have I exceeded his wildest dreams? Both of these carry a set of questions.
Is the standard low so I have exceeded it or have I not yet made it? Is the standard high and I still haven’t met it or did I make it through?
I’m not much into pleasing others for the sake of their ego. I’d bet this attitude gets me into trouble quite often. Power is perception and will always remain so. The POW being tortured that doesn’t give in. The grunt worker slaving day after day to put another meal on the table. Being fired because you told the truth. The opposite also happens. You give in to fears real and otherwise. I may object but would have a hard time faulting the grunt worker that cuts corners to make it to the family meal or someone telling a small lie to keep their job, a roof over their head and pay another semester of tuition.
I try and hold true to my principles as they are. I think the core me overall isn’t so bad even if I am working to change something others may see as positive but I feel is a negative.
I wish I could say that all my pondering before and as I was writing this led to some great epiphany and I know myself better than ever. I’m left scratching my head and more off balance, or in a more positive light, my complacency had the shit kicked out of it and I’m forced to face reality again.
Who was I to make who I am to shape who I will be? Are we ever past our ‘prime’? It all depends on what prime I choose to pick on. Maybe it’s time to pick a new prime or revisit an old one and push those boundaries to see just how much strain they can take. Without knowing the standard my father set means I get to imagine one. The bar that my fingers can graze feels about right. I can feel it right there. It is in my reach and I just have to push for it. I don’t know if I’ll feel at some point that I did good and he is truly proud. Perhaps I’m not meant to because that might mean I lowered the bar to me instead of continuing to push ever higher.
Deep thoughts and a tired mind. To rest I go.
Love you dad.
-SFA
Apple’s WWDC was probably more directly exciting for the developers, as it should be, than for me. I will benefit from the ‘improved’ apps that will come out. iOS9 will have have stability improvements. As well power use will be decreased and the overall size will be smaller than iOS8 which is good news for a device without a changeable battery nor can you add memory to. As an android/iOS/windows/OSX user, iOS 9 and El Capitan will be bringing ‘new’ features that I already have in android and windows such as being able to have two apps running side by side. Apple Notes will be more like Evernote and Apple Maps will be more like my Google Maps. I don’t use carplay, I don’t develop apps. I don’t have an iwatch (which requires an iphone) so those enhancements aren’t as important to me for now. Apple Music seems to be the biggest thing to come out of this. I’ll wait for it to come out before I decide if it’s worth getting excited over. I still hope to see new ipods and a new apple tv this week at some point.
-SFA
As i lay in bed with a mancold I look around the room and think…. I should get rid of stuff. That way there will be less i need to put in my will.
-SFA
I wondered if I could be a superhero. That really is how this starts, but that’s only the start.
Seriously, I am actually taking the time to ponder this stray thought and the ramifications if I ever come across a glowing green ring or radioactive spiders, perhaps even some gamma ray spewing machine. If there is someone reading this that is super smart and rich, I’d be willing to test drive any new power suits you may happen to design that would fit me. But call my AI Alex, just in case I want to change from a male to a female voice. (Note to Amazon, I want to be able to call my Echo Alex.) (PS: look up ways that supervillains have been made.) Moving on.
Villain or Hero. I can take out the super prefix and this still works.
How would I really decide if I wanted to do good or evil? Now I didn’t say BE good or evil. That would require brainwashing, chemicals, perhaps even mystical powers to change the personality or soul to be BE good or evil. I’m also choosing not to say good and bad. Bad would be putting a flaming bag of poo in front of someone’s door. This pondering requires a higher level of wrongdoing, hence, evil.
While there might be pure souls out there, I’d hazard a guess that most of us float around inside. By that I mean we are capable of doing both good and evil things. I can be humming a merry tune walking down the road and help that little ole lady across the street. Most people would consider that good. I could also choose not to help her. I would put that in the not good but not evil section. Maybe 49% good, 51% evil. If I didn’t see her I’d call it fair at 50/50. And pushing her into street would be an evil thing. I think these distinctions are clear. I do admit that trying to define the boundaries between hero/superhero and villain/supervillain is not so easy. I’m guessing it’s a status thing like being a star vs a superstar. Don’t forget to wash your hands if you found yourself grabbing your armpits.
If I use ‘classic’ ideas on this, the hero is usually self sacrificing and in general what would be called a ‘dogooder’. (Thor)
The villain on the other hand is the one who likes to cause mischief because they take pleasure in it. (Loki)
Setting ants on fire with the magnifying glass as a child may be misguided but seeking out another child to burn slips into the evil side. Think The Good Child. Creepy and good movie by the way. (Note to self, try and watch 7 again, even if it was uber creepy and nightmare inducing.)
The majority of those who walk down one of these paths will continue down that chosen path. The hero will continue to save the cat in the tree and the villain will continue to scare the cat right back up. There may be those rare few out there that switch sides. The hero’s beloved is killed because she was too trusting and shared her secret identity to someone that wasn’t as good about keeping it and now she’s on a murderous rampage. The villain might have had an epiphany and a single seed of rainbow juice crept into them to start them on the path into righteousness. Either could have also been in the closet about their true nature and just went with it. Peer pressure sucks in any situation.
I don’t think I have what it takes to be a villain let alone a super villain. The constant evildoing just seems like an awful amount of work but what do you really get out of it. I’d really need to attend an evil job fair to talk to some folk about this. Yeah the money is probably good but are there secret evil dance clubs or lounges? Where would I get my groceries? I assume the quality would be superb since I would just take whatever I want. Skipping the checkout lane would be a major bonus. Waiting in the 15 items and under lane with a full cart and just walking through once it’s my turn… priceless evil.
Are there many villains that carry secret identities? I can’t imagine that a supervillain would want a secret identity unless it was part of a plan. They would want to flaunt their evilness. The superhero is probably getting sent gifts and invited to cool places and getting into the popular clubs, and getting laid. I almost left that last part out. At first I was thinking that would be an abuse of the position and would relegate said person to hero status instead but on reflection, that would be vilifying sex. (Why does vilifying only have one l?) If two people consensually decide to go for it, that’s an ok thing, even if it might be from ‘hero worship’. Looking up to someone is a gradation and hard for me to define the lower and upper limit. As well, two (or more) people have their own reasons, perhaps dare say, love. Using superpowers to attract the other person would be the no-no and abuse. It would be enough to knock someone right out of hero status. That’s not to say that the villains are being left out. There are assuredly evildoer groupies out there as well for the villain to get some action. Whether or not they need to, they are probably using their powers if they have them, it’s just more evil that way.
As I was pondering on this possible career change a problem occurred. Neither category works for me. Where my thinking went on this was that I would head down a third path. Including the evildoing above (who really wants to change identities just to pick up some milk?), I don’t get announcing myself before appearing to save the day. Doesn’t that just give the evildoers a chance to get away or set something up to harm me? What’s the point in that? Hmm… as I’m writing I’m seeing batman as a possible mentor. (Note to self, find the bat cave.) (PS: Without superpowers this would require me to be in naturally shape. Restart eating better and exercising tonight.) Just to make things clear, I’m NOT looking to be a sidekick. (What the hell is a sidekick, a kick to the side? Note to self, look up what kick might have meant. ?partner?). I’m also not looking to wear spandex. Too many people already wear it.
So where does this leave me? I already have one job. It’s keeps me busy and there is always more to learn within it. I’m tabling this job change for now, until/unless one of the prescribed methods of power acquisition occurs. There would be much more pondering needed should this happen. As well, what if I was given supervillain powers. I would then have to start pondering the intrinsic nature of said powers as to whether it is the power or the user of the power that would define one as hero or villain.
Anyone with superpowers please feel free to comment on this. It would be helpful research.
-SFA
why do we say we ‘feel responsible’ for something? i wonder if i’m confused about the word and meaning of it.
I’m amazed at the amount of people that are shocked that I go to movies by myself. I get that being single has its negative impressions the older one gets. I still would like to make the right decision the first time instead of multiple wrong decisions, even if they might be a lot of fun along the way. There are good things about being single like being easier to fit in that isolated seat on the plane (disregarding the nasty looks the other two might give you) as well as the isolated seat in a packed movie theater (again disregarding the nasty looks) and not so good things about being single, mainly the way the rest of the world looks at us. The group tour world presumes to a large degree that people travel in pairs. Try and book a cruise or group tour and the majority are couples based (double occupancy). There are sites and places that help with the single person traveling and this is an ok option. Don’t be fooled by the world that you much travel or do things with someone else!! I think people would be even more shocked that I go to concerts, restaurants, sporting events, even the bathroom, all by myself. I hear “I wish I could do that.” (That third ‘I’ was bolded and italicized!)
In a moment of desire to give guidance and help the world I will share my secrets.
1. Find free time without other obligations or obligations you won’t feel that guilty about missing.
-This is purely subjective of course. You may decide that the cat in the tree or the baby in the runaway shopping cart are high priorities but this will cut into the time off and you may now miss your chosen event.
2. Choose something to do.
-You may have difficulties if you have problems making decisions. Choosing something that requires 2+ people may make it harder if you are by yourself. Likewise choosing something that requires participation might be difficult if you are sedentary or don’t want to participate in something.
3. Go.
-I leave the method of how to get there open: Hitch hiking and sneaking aboard planes ARE recognized methods and while quite valid are not recommended for multiple reasons including the fact that you are already having trouble getting out and these are extreme methods as well as the the illegal nature. In the future if you find you enjoy going out these options can be revisited.
4. Appreciate the ability to do what you want in your own time frame.
-Caveat being that events usually begin and end at some point. They generally want you to leave when it’s over. Otherwise, plan what you want to do whenever you want to do it.
5. Enjoy the quiet time as much as possible.
-It helps if the event has built in alone time like a movie. You shouldn’t be talking anyway at the theater.
6. Enjoy the nonquiet time as much as possible.
-You may have to go home at some point to a life you may not like and dread as the event comes to a close. Let that pent up energy out before you get home.
7. Remember the time you spent.
-If you enjoyed it, it will give you energy and motiviation to go out again.
-If you didn’t enjoy it, analyze why and try again with something else.
-If you had gone to something that you wouldn’t have gone to without others, you may need help choosing for the second try.
Thoughts: As stated, movies are a good choice to start with, if you like movies, because you aren’t supposed to be talking, forced to engage in conversation with others, nor having to interact with others except to buy the ticket and find a seat. Go early to avoid having to squeeze in between people if the theater is expected to be full. If you have trouble staying silent, perhaps time at a monestary or nunery (as specified per gender) would be helpful. Their methods will be their own so check into that before signing up. Bugee jumping and sky diving are also solo events where you won’t be doing much talking either. *screaming is not talking*
If you have no friends to ask for help, you can try websites setup for singles. Not necessarily people who don’t have an SO (significant other) but people who are going to be traveling on their own (who probably don’t have an SO). You can also try sites like meetup to try and attend events. Keep in mind though that many travels by oneself can come at a higher cost as many trips are not designed for the single person. Try a regular cruise booking and the single supplement charge will blow your mind. Might as well find someone to travel with since it’s about the same price. Us single folk get the short end of the stick (a phrase whose origin may be shit end of the stick by the way since really what is the short end of a stick, it only has two ends), when trying to travel alone. It might be a difficult thing dealing with the concept of being by youself in a group event. It might also be easier though without having to plan anything out and maybe the people are actually nice. As before, there are plenty of sites for finding trips for the single traveler. It’s just finding the one that fits your schedule and level of activity. Make sure you meet the requirements as they are and pay the price. You are good to go and you may even get hooked to doing things by yourself but still in a group setting. You can then work yourself to smaller and smaller groups until you can spend time by yourself. Then the world really opens up.
-SFA
As an amazon prime member I had the opportunity to buy an Amazon Echo early and for a discounted price. It seemed like a good idea of exploration. There are houses out there that have an incredible level of home automation but this is something not too expensive and definitely first generation. It’s a glimpse of a future not that far ahead.
Choices occur at every moment. There are no good or bad choices. That notion is subject to the whims of hindsight. We all come to the precipice every moment. Jump or turn around. Fly or fall or seek another path. Fear can be a motivator or ‘demotivator.’ I still think of it as motivation, just in a different direction. The fear of not jumping should not be the decision point. It should be a part of the process though. Don’t deny the fear. It’s there for a reason. Emotions and base instincts got our ancestors through quite a lot. If we didn’t need them they would have probably been weeded out by now. Embrace those pieces that make us who we are. But we are man, not animal. Analyze and process these emotions and instincts. Why are they there and what do you choose to do about them. The animal trapped may give up or chew through its leg to escape. Man can choose those options but can also wait for them that done set the trap. Our ‘higher functions’ give us an opportunity to excel and redefine our choices. Turning around is just as valid a choice as jumping. And turning around need not be from cowardice. Two may take the same path. The coward is the one that let fear be the guiding reason. The other chose to walk knowing they may be afraid but still pushing on that path. Likewise the man who jumps off the precipice may be doing so with thought behind the action but also from fear of what’s behind. The precipice gives us a chance to elevate from animal. We get the chance to use those higher functions if we want. To learn about ourselves and expand our thinking. Each choice is a new crucible of its own to give us an opportunity to be broken down or changed into something new. I am not who I was that moment ago. I am reborn anew each moment of my life. You can be overwhelemed thinking about this ability to be new and improved or you might not be overwhelmed. The choice is yours.
-SFA