Just got back from Sandia after a snowboarding lesson. The last lesson I think was about two years ago. As I realized I was a closet masochist to keep getting up again and again, I had a flashback memory when I had heard someone mention they thought they “broke their ass.” Coccyx sure but not that often. Not being slim these days and relying too much on my backside padding I hoped I would be ok. I confess that I had a moment after countless falls where I was hurting so bad I had my own thought, “my ass is broken.” Startled by the thought and the pain I chose to lay there for a short time contemplating on  what I had done to myself and why I was continuing on. Thankfully the two high schoolers in the group seemed to be in similar conditions and I was able to push through and past and rise again. I’ve got my PADI, I’ve been free fall skydiving twice (not tandem), and I have a motorcycle. Am I not badass enough yet?! (Disregarding the one I have now broken.) The simple answer is No. I made it through most of the class until both of my legs started cramping, my hands were cramping, I was feeling shin splints, my asthma was acting up, and I continued to feel little and big muscles cramping around the body that I hadn’t remembered since anatomy. As my newly discovered masochistic personality exerted itself one more time I realized that I actually had fun and I will probably be happy that I have two more lessons coming up once the pain isn’t so bad. Thankfully I will be having good food tonight and alcohol, medicinal of course as an internal anesthetic, and will try my best to ignore the pain that is currently wracking my body trying to contort me into some shape only known to Escher. And for anyone that has a large enough shower, I fully and whole heartily advocate for a teak stool to be able to sit on and relax on while being under the spray. A poor man’s sauna but still quite effective.

-Santa’s Fallen Angel