a hostage of one

I’m amazed at the amount of people that are shocked that I go to movies by myself. I get that being single has its negative impressions the older one gets. I still would like to make the right decision the first time instead of multiple wrong decisions, even if they might be a lot of fun along the way. There are good things about being single like being easier to fit in that isolated seat on the plane (disregarding the nasty looks the other two might give you) as well as the isolated seat in a packed movie theater (again disregarding the nasty looks) and not so good things about being single, mainly the way the rest of the world looks at us. The group tour world presumes to a large degree that people travel in pairs. Try and book a cruise or group tour and the majority are couples based (double occupancy). There are sites and places that help with the single person traveling and this is an ok option. Don’t be fooled by the world that you much travel or do things with someone else!! I think people would be even more shocked that I go to concerts, restaurants, sporting events, even the bathroom, all by myself. I hear “I wish I could do that.” (That third ‘I’ was bolded and italicized!)

In a moment of desire to give guidance and help the world I will share my secrets.

1. Find free time without other obligations or obligations you won’t feel that guilty about missing.
-This is purely subjective of course. You may decide that the cat in the tree or the baby in the runaway shopping cart are high priorities but this will cut into the time off and you may now miss your chosen event.

2. Choose something to do.
-You may have difficulties if you have problems making decisions. Choosing something that requires 2+ people may make it harder if you are by yourself. Likewise choosing something that requires participation might be difficult if you are sedentary or don’t want to participate in something.

3. Go.
-I leave the method of how to get there open: Hitch hiking and sneaking aboard planes ARE recognized methods and while quite valid are not recommended for multiple reasons including the fact that you are already having trouble getting out and these are extreme methods as well as the the illegal nature. In the future if you find you enjoy going out these options can be revisited.

4. Appreciate the ability to do what you want in your own time frame.
-Caveat being that events usually begin and end at some point. They generally want you to leave when it’s over. Otherwise, plan what you want to do whenever you want to do it.

5. Enjoy the quiet time as much as possible.
-It helps if the event has built in alone time like a movie. You shouldn’t be talking anyway at the theater.

6. Enjoy the nonquiet time as much as possible.
-You may have to go home at some point to a life you may not like and dread as the event comes to a close. Let that pent up energy out before you get home.

7. Remember the time you spent.
-If you enjoyed it, it will give you energy and motiviation to go out again.
-If you didn’t enjoy it, analyze why and try again with something else.
-If you had gone to something that you wouldn’t have gone to without others, you may need help choosing for the second try.

Thoughts: As stated, movies are a good choice to start with, if you like movies, because you aren’t supposed to be talking, forced to engage in conversation with others, nor having to interact with others except to buy the ticket and find a seat. Go early to avoid having to squeeze in between people if the theater is expected to be full. If you have trouble staying silent, perhaps time at a monestary or nunery (as specified per gender) would be helpful. Their methods will be their own so check into that before signing up. Bugee jumping and sky diving are also solo events where you won’t be doing much talking either. *screaming is not talking*

If you have no friends to ask for help, you can try websites setup for singles. Not necessarily people who don’t have an SO (significant other) but people who are going to be traveling on their own (who probably don’t have an SO). You can also try sites like meetup to try and attend events. Keep in mind though that many travels by oneself can come at a higher cost as many trips are not designed for the single person. Try a regular cruise booking and the single supplement charge will blow your mind. Might as well find someone to travel with since it’s about the same price. Us single folk get the short end of the stick (a phrase whose origin may be shit end of the stick by the way since really what is the short end of a stick, it only has two ends), when trying to travel alone. It might be a difficult thing dealing with the concept of being by youself in a group event. It might also be easier though without having to plan anything out and maybe the people are actually nice. As before, there are plenty of sites for finding trips for the single traveler. It’s just finding the one that fits your schedule and level of activity. Make sure you meet the requirements as they are and pay the price. You are good to go and you may even get hooked to doing things by yourself but still in a group setting. You can then work yourself to smaller and smaller groups until you can spend time by yourself. Then the world really opens up.

-SFA

a hiking adventure

this story begins earlier this summer as a friend and i started to think about a hiking/camping trip. it started with 2 nights, 3 days then the date changed then it was dropped down to one night, 2 days. i think it worked out for the best.

we chose to head to carson national forest in new mexico. this is also my first 12k hike. ok. it was more like 11,800 but i’ll take it. as well my first camping/hiking trip that wasn’t car camping.

being a somewhat noob, i packed as a cross between car camping and hiking camping. that just means i had about 30-50% way too much in my pack. pulling stuff out of a car and setting up is one thing. carrying that stuff uphill several miles is stupid. at least now i have a better idea what not to take.

but i’m getting ahead of myself.

the adventure starts the morning of. i had tried to be real good and get everything packed the night before. i did do it. however. in the morning as i pick up the pack, one of the straps holding my sleeping bag groans and flies off. i admit i still don’t know where the buckle is in the living room. so i have to grab another pack and move everything over. the mistake was in seeing the extra room and putting more things in it. yada yada i get to my friends and we drive. then we have to figure out how to find the parking area once we get there. the map kinda describes it but the road signage wasn’t the best. we eventually got there after turning around. elevation around 9400 ft.

A Hiking Adventure Aug 2013-1379from here we just grabbed our packs with the idea to hike until we stop and find a nice stop to camp. the forest is open so you can camp anywhere you want. there are places that are more camped (and flatter) than others. there are also two lakes in the area as well. we planned on going to the higher horseshoe lake.

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that five miles on the sign is very deceptive.

off we go.

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it sure looks nice and sunny doesn’t it…

i took a few pics on the way up. beautiful flowers. very moist and humid environment.

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we stop at points for me to breathe and to talk to other people around (and which also allows me to breathe). about two miles in we find a bridge that people mentioned that had some decent area to camp at next to a stream. elevation around 10,600 i think. i’m beat so time to make camp. lucky for us that we did. as things are unpacking and water is being boiled for dinner, what do we spy above but nice dark dark clouds. oh shit. a mad hurried rush to finish the tents ensues. when the hail started, yes, hail, to pelt me like a bb gun we each dashed into our tents to eat and take shelter from the storm. and what a storm it was. this was some of the loudest thunder and brightest lightning i have seen in my life. the lightning was like a flash bulb going off in my tent. i could see everything inside.

no problem. we have tents and rainflies and warm sleeping bags. uh oh. is that water dripping into my one person tent. no tears. it’s just coming through the fly and then dripping through the mesh. good thing i have my nice +30 down sleeping bag… that doesn’t work as great when it’s wet. somewhere during a lull in the storm i hear yelling about possible hypothermia. we discuss this as well as possible flash flooding and bears. lots of great thoughts getting into the evening. shiver me timbers.. it was getting cold. i tried to read but was just exhausted and fell asleep at (for me) a crazy early hour around 9pm. I woke up around 2am but damned if i was going into that storm to pee. back to bed i go.

i eventually woke up around 5:30am. storms passed. there were at least three big rounds of thunder and lightning that i was awake or awoken for. at some point i just needed to get out. i tried to rummage for some dry wood but at that hour i wasn’t to clear headed and missed some big dry pieces under another tree. i had the full intention of getting roaring fire ready for my friend. come on. it’s awesome when it’s cold to have a fire out there to warm up to. plus. it’s fire. i make some headway. here’s the view with some smoke hanging out… beautiful.

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i did manage to show my friend how to use a light my fire spark set to light up a petroleum jelly soaked cotton ball. nice and easy tinder to start a slow burn. i didn’t find that dry wood until more light was out and my friend was already awake. drat!

well. we survived the night. worked on a little breakfast and i packed a few items into my camelback for the trek up to the lake. i did get to practice breathing to try and keep from passing out. we’re still headed up in elevation. remember, this is going up near 12,000. since it’s nice and humid there are fungi everywhere.

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we aren’t smart enough to know which are good and which are bad. at the end we did run across two guys that did know. one had a big shroom in his hand and he rattled off some fancy name for it. he said it was very tasty. i passed.

i also did get the chance to be with my friends dogs and by the end they would heel for me when i was leading. very empowering i must say to be a pack leader and not as much work once they get it in their heads.

we passed by some beautiful views on the way up.

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i have a casio watch that does barometer, altimeter, compass, temp. that kind. the altimeter was great to help me keep going. my manta was “one step,” as in one step at a time. i needed something when i was having trouble catching my breath. we saw some big horned goats.

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and marmots.

 

 

 

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and more stunning vistas when we go to the lake.

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we hung around for a while but knowing work was calling the next day and there were many hours left of hiking and breaking camp at some point we just had to learn the peace and serenity and start the journey back. we stopped for a nice dinner in taos before the long drive back. thankfully my friend was driving as my body was a wreck. after a weekend of wondering about hypothermia, bears, flooding and exhaustion, of course this leads to the question of “where next and when can we go.”

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-Santa’s Fallen Angel